Therapy is complicated #1
Heya there
Since its the first post, I thought I’d best introduce myself and what I’m trying to do here
I’m a psychotherapist based in London and I am currently in the throes of setting up my private practice, which unsurprisingly, is proving to be more complicated than I’d initially thought. Nobody prepared me that alongside the clinical work, I’d need to conceptualise my own therapeutic approach; how my entire upbringing, my countless years of clinical training and ongoing supervision, have shaped the way I work integratively with clients, all while that same approach keeps adjusting and evolving in response to what clients actually bring into the room. And that’s before even getting to the practical bits - learn to understand SEO, somewhat branding and marketing, creating invoices, tracking payments, insurance, ICO, contracts and keeping on top of my tax returns. All this without knowing how it’ll all pan out, and without the security of regularly being allocated clients or sharing the overall responsibility with an organisation.
That said, what a privilege it is to get to work in this way - to bear witness to people's evolving stories of change and healing. To have full control over one’s own time and energy. To work in a way that aligns entirely with one’s values, which ultimately makes you better able to be fully present to support clients in the way they deserve. And so much more. Okay, I'll calm down, I know but that’s how it is.
In all honesty, it’s a bit daunting and it’s messy, but it’s real. And, that’s essentially what has been playing on my mind lately since embarking on this new chapter of my life, career, journey; whatever you wanna call it. It’s made me reflect on new beginnings and how although exciting, it can bring a lot of uncertainty; which ironically can cause a lot of anxiety - as it should.
It has made me wonder about what clients might be experiencing when embarking on their own journeys of therapy. Everyone will have their own upbringings, their own ways of framing, language, relational patterns and more. It will inevitably bring feelings of curiosity, motivation, and excitement - and, in some cases anxiety, shame or stigma too. And yet they continue, because of the hope for change, for getting unstuck. It’s incredibly complicated, and that’s exactly my point; starting your own practice is complicated, starting therapy is complicated, and doing something different is meant to be complicated because we are complicated beings.
Therapy is meant to be uncomfortable and hard; it’s not meant to be this cosy, lovely, and endlessly validating experience or just another convenient thing to do. Deep healing is deeply inconvenient and it is not peaceful. In fact, more often you will find that it often gets worse before it gets better, because the therapy evolves as you do.
The same is true for working for yourself. Most of us have been conditioned to a particular way of building our lives, meaning we are taught to favour stability (in terms of salary, secure job, an office to go to etc.) over any form of risk or the notion of ‘betting on ourselves’, so naturally, doing something different can feel really frightening.
And that's good thing. I think it's where the hope lives. Real change means challenging how we currently think, behave, and feel - along with whatever else you're hoping to shift or explore.
So perhaps, that’s where this begins - not with certainty but with the willingness to sit with the not-knowing. Whether you’re a therapist building a private practice from scratch, or someone considering therapy for the first time; the uncomfortable feelings associated is not a sign that you’re doing it wrong or that you need to stop, but actually more likely healthy signs that you’re on the right path (very simply put), and perhaps its a reminder that you are capable of facing whatever it may bring.
The mess, the uncertainty, the anxieties that come with change form part of the work itself. And so, before anything else, before the first session, assessment, or treatment plan, the important part is simply taking that first step and starting.
Thank you for reading this far
Have a lovely day
Cindie